Things I’m Grateful For In 2020

2020 was one hell of a year, but you already knew that. I think most of us felt loss this year, be it people or experiences or time or money, and I know it’s hard to find the good in any of that. That being said, I think because of this, it’s especially important to take time for gratitude, and I wanted to really highlight some things that I’m particularly grateful for this year.

• I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I’m grateful to still live at home with my parents (and brother). Not having to stress about rent while also getting human interaction has been honestly great. Of course I still want to have that independence and feel like I can start my adult life on my own eventually, but 2020 was apparently a good year for me to not have that.
• I’m grateful for my friends. From the ones who have me crying with laughter at midnight to the ones ready to support me when I’ve had a bad day to the ones just checking in once in a while, I’m grateful that there are good people in my life. 2020 reminded us all that even in the darkest times, you still need friends, and I’m glad I’ve been able to maintain and build those relationships even if we can’t be physically together.
  
• I’m grateful that we have unlimited internet in this house. I remember a few years ago when we’d have to be rationing data at the end of every month to get by. I don’t know how we would have survived this year without it, given that I am online for most of the day.
• I’m grateful I graduated university when I did. I feel so bad for kids just starting school this year or kids like my brother who just graduated and have little prospects because of this pandemic. I’m not in a supremely better place in terms of life, but it could be worse. My life plans weren’t all that interrupted. 
• I’m grateful for online games. I love games, and throughout the year I’ve been able to play many fun online games with many different people from the comfort and safety of our homes. The internet has once again proven to be a superb tool for connection, communication, and entertainment. If you have a favourite free online game, please recommend it in the comments!
• I’m grateful the people around me aren’t complete idiots. I see America’s COVID-19 stats and I hear stories from people with morons for bosses, and I’m just so glad that I’m not anywhere near that. Like sure, do I have to constantly remind my grandmother to not cough into her hand, yeah, but otherwise, the people around me are accepting of science and facts and able to adjust to the safety restrictions for the most part.
  
• Speaking of my grandmother, I’m glad she lives so close to us that she could still see us and come over for dinner almost every night throughout the pandemic. Even though she’s been a handful and is not loving the world’s situation (she told us living through the war as a child in Italy was better), I know my whole family is grateful we can be there for her and she’s not alone.

Take a moment or two to reflect on what you’re grateful for. It’ll be important to cherish these things as we go into 2021 and beyond. 

And as always, I’m grateful for my blog and my readers. That’s one thing I’ve never forgotten to be thankful for. I adore this outlet I have, and I’m always so glad to hear that I’ve amused you for a short time every week. 

That’s all for now!

 

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Defining Friendships Today

Here I go again, blogging about friendships. I promise I’m not here this time to have a moan, and I will try to keep things somewhat positive. I just want to have a discussion. As I think a lot of young adults do, I contemplate the state of my friendships. I have some friends I see fairly often in person because we live near each other. I have some friends I don’t live near but we still communicate fairly regularly. I have some friends I don’t really talk to that often, but I’d be game to hang out any time, though I’m aware of the fact that for some, we never will and eventually the friendship will end. I have some friends I only know through the internet. And then I have some acquaintances.

For me personally, I separate friends from acquaintances/strangers/people I know of based on a mutual voluntary willingness to interact on one’s own time. When I was in university and on the Quidditch team, I one day said something during a conversation at practice like, “oh, I don’t have many friends” and then someone pointed out, “well there’s like fifteen of us here; what are we?” I replied that they were mostly acquaintances. No one was on the team because they personally liked me. They were there because they wanted to play Quidditch and would be doing so regardless of if I was there or not. Showing up to the same practices I do does not count as friendship to me if I never interacted with them outside of those few hours of structure and we never were particularily close while there anyway. I got razzed for this belief for the rest of the year, but I do stand by it (though I probably shouldn’t have said it).

In the blogosphere, I often see tweets asking “Are we Instagram friends yet?” accompanied by a link to the person’s Insta account, and that lowkey bothers me. I’m not hating on anyone who does this, but I personally don’t think that following someone on Instagram counts as friendship, and even throwing out the option of that is ridiculous because it’s so unlikely. There are more genuine ways to garner followers, I think, than pretending you’re building meaningful relationships. Because to me, that’s what a friend is: a meaningful relationship.

Everybody wants friends and everybody likes friends, but friendship and how we approach it has changed a lot in the past few years. Because of social media, it’s easier to keep up with people far away, but is liking a post enough to maintain friendships? Sometimes I’ll see a tweet like “I don’t care if we haven’t talked in a year, you can call me and we’ll be the exact same as we were, I love friendships like that!” Is this sentiment true for you, because I don’t know how I’d react if some person I haven’t talked to in a year for no reason showed up and tried to pretend nothing changed.

It’s interesting that the media puts so much emphasis on having one close friend group. From Friends to The Bold Type to even Supergirl, Blindspot, and The Big Bang Theory, these ‘squads’ of close, family-like friends are seen as the ultimate goal of life. Find your tribe, and all that, which is great, but I think most people don’t have that. Most people have friends from various points of their in life. But shows like Friends rarely show other friends who are just as loved but not living in the same city or part of the squad or whatever.

Though interestingly enough, the people these shows are targetting seem to have neither. There are a bunch of articles stating that though Millenials/Gen-Z are the most connected, we’re also the loneliest. Is this because the friend focus is being put on the wrong people? Or because we’re content with a just few Likes? Or because we’re too poor to actually go hang out with friends? Or because we don’t know how to talk to people?

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t thrive in a lot of social settings. I sometimes have trouble talking to new people and I do fear that I’ll never make more close friends because everyone knows that making friends as an adult is hard. That’s why I’m even more grateful for the friends I do have now. I’m so glad we voluntarily interact and lift each other up and laugh together.

As much as we’d all like a squad of our own, it’s more important to cherish the friends you have and ensure that those relationships are as strong and healthy as you want them to be, even if they’re not Instagram-perfect. Don’t be fooled into thinking follower count = friend count, unless you choose to define it that way and are content with that.

The Squirtle Squad is the only valid squad

How do you define friendship and what do you think about the media’s portrayal of friendships?

 

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Reunited And It Feels Less Weird Than I Thought It Would

I recently attended a reunion for my elementary school graduating class. It’s been about nine and a half years since we graduated from our small elementary school, and a lot of us parted ways in high school. So I was very surprised to see that over Facebook, one girl invited most of the 32 of us, as well as a few others who left the school before grade 8, to her house for a reunion.

At first I didn’t want to go. I mean, there’s a reason I don’t talk to most of them anymore. We aren’t friends. Never were. I do still talk to three people from elementary school, but those friendships were formed before/after those years anyway. Plus, like, the point of a reunion is to go flex a little, right? Show ’em how great you’re doing. And what news did I have to share? Nothing. I’m currently unemployed, live with my parents, and have less friends than I did back then.

But two of the three people I am in contact with decided they were going to go to the reunion, so I agreed to as well, as long as they promised to not let me get trapped in a weird conversation. I thought the whole thing would be weird and awkward and we’d leave after half an hour, but it was actually a lot more fun than I anticipated!

There were only five people there when we arrived and about four more came later, so it was a small event. It would have been nice to see more, but I do think the smaller group was less overwhelming. We chatted and drank and reminisced, and it was alright. It was familiar, in a sweet way. These people used to be essentially my whole world, in a sense. And now, my world has expanded, but no matter what we grow to do or where we go, we all came from the same small school in the same small town, and it’s an experience that only we can share in.

I was also worried that the whole thing would be awkward because it’s not only that I wasn’t very close to these people ten years ago, but I actively didn’t like a few of them. And maybe it’s because we all matured or I was just too drunk to care, but it wasn’t weird at all, because nothing mattered now. It was so nice to just interact with people and not worry about the quality/value of your interactions because it was a one-time thing for catching up and then we’d go our separate ways. Maybe we’ll reunite again, but also maybe not.

Overall, I had a good time and I’m glad I went. If there’s ever a proper high school reunion in the future, I think I’d probably go to that too. In fact, a month ago, I ended up unexpectedly hanging out with two people I was friends with in high school, and it was nice.

If you’ve been invited to a reunion and are on the fence about going, I suggest you do it. It could be fun. I’m someone who usually doesn’t like interacting with people who don’t clearly want to interact with me (a tactic that often leads to me sitting alone at parties, 10 out of 10 would not recommend), but this reunion taught me that just because you haven’t seen someone in ten years or five years or even one year, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a nice evening together just because.

 

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Take Me Behind All The Scenes

I recently read a book I saw a fellow blogger mention on Instagram. It was called I’ll Be There For You and it was all about the hit TV show Friends. The author highlighted why Friends was a success and why it remains a success even today with people who, like myself, were babies when the show was on. There were also cool stories about the show’s creators, some of the drama between the NBC and Warner Bros over the years, the cast, and much more. I very much enjoyed reading it. It was informative and fun and was written by someone who also loved the show, which came across well. I recommend it.

I love things like that book because I find behind the scenes things very fascinating. Especially when it’s about something I already have an interest in, such as TV shows or musicals or something. I think it’s so neat to learn about all the little things that went into creating something bigger and well known because they’re important parts but are rarely shared.

I wish we got more behind the scenes things in general. Whenever I watch a TV show, the first thing I usually do when I finish it (provided I like it) is scour the internet to find any bloopers, behind the scenes videos, and interviews I can find. Sometimes I get lucky and can find a lot of great content, but some shows have a lack of the good stuff. When Glee was a few seasons in, a then-friend lent me a book all about the making of Glee‘s first season. It went through every episode, every song, every cast member, just giving tidbits of info and facts. I finished that book, turned it over, and read it again right then and there because I loved it so much. I prayed for a book on the second season, but never saw one. Glee also stands out to me as far as TV shows go because for almost every episode, there was behind the scene interviews and footage put on YouTube ahead of the episode. They were so fun and I loved watching them. Despite the fact that we never got the bloopers we were promised (and I’ll die mad about it), I think Glee did a good job giving fans a lot of bonus content, so thanks to Fox for that! I wish every show/musical/sports team/startup company had a person just documenting everything so it can be shared with eventual fans.

One reason I think I’m so attracted to the behind the scenes thing is because it highlights the real fun work that goes into creating these big things. As a creative person and as a media consumer, I love seeing how ideas come to life and then go on to inspire and entertain millions. In my second year of university, I kind of came to a realization that I wanted to be a part of something like that. I want to be a part of something that people were excited to use/consume/do. Given that I live in Canada, my dreams of working on a TV set aren’t the most realistic, but there’s so much more I can do. This blog is a start, because it’s me creating content for you guys to read and (hopefully) enjoy…though a behind the scenes look at that wouldn’t be interesting at all—it’s just me slouched in a Snuggie typing quietly at odd times of the day.

Anyway, I love fun behind the scenes things, so if you know of any good books similar to the Friends one or videos or something, let me know so I can consume it!

That’s all for now!

 

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Let’s Stop Saying Things We’ll Never Follow Through On

One thing I’ve noticed a lot in these new adult years is that people, some more than others, have a really bad habit of saying things they either don’t mean or they will never follow through on, even if they did mean it.

And I’d like it to stop.

Of course, it’s a thing that people probably don’t even realize they’re doing it, so it’s hard to change, but if I may, I’d like to suggest that in your next social conversation, try to notice it happening. Listen for it from all parties. You may be surprised how often it happens. It happens at work, I’ve noticed as well.

Because you never know when you’ll be talking to someone (me) who takes everything to heart (me) and then bases her self worth over it (me).

Okay, that’s dramatic, but the point still stands. I’ve had friends say something like “you’ll have to come to my cottage this summer!” and then I’ll never get an invite, or “you’ve never seen [insert some old Disney movie here]? Okay, one day we’re gonna watch it together!” and then we don’t. Do you know how many friends over the years have said, “I want to straighten your hair! We’ll have a sleepover and I’ll straighten it!” At least three. Do you know how many actually followed through? Zero. Not that I want my hair straightened, I’m just saying.

My best friend and I have for years talked about going to London, England one day. But we never made plans or set deadlines or made it seem like it was realistic for us any time soon. Even now, I in theory could go given that I have a job and vacation time, but my friend is still in school, so it’d be dumb to do that, and we’re not in a rush. If we ever talk about it these days, it’ll still be in that future idyllic sense so we know we’re not letting anyone one down because we’re reasonable humans.

I know it’s probably my fault for believing these grandiose plans and letting the constant failure of them get to me, but I also think the world would be better if we were more honest and realistic about things we say and do and think.

And I’m realizing that maybe I sound bitter and projecting my social life insecurities into this post, but it’s not just fellow young people around me doing it. My parents do it with their friends for things not even involving me. I just watch it happen (or not happen, I should say).

It’s so easy to say “we’ll do this,” and “we’ll do that,” and “I’ll totally invite you here,” and in my heart I know that people more often than not actually do want to follow through, but they either forget they said it or things just don’t work out. So I guess my point is if you notice this being a pattern in your life, maybe think twice about so casually saying something because holding back certainly won’t hurt.

Does this make sense?

 

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