If I Had A Third Arm

If you ask me, I think it’s about time that we humans evolved, and the first thing we should do is grow a third arm. Having that extra limb would be amazing. I’m so sick of having only two arms and hands when I could be living my best life with three. I know you’re reading this and scoffing as you wonder just what narcotics I must have ingested to come up with this, but I’ll have you know that my body is drug-free and I am being 100% serious. Let me list just a few things that would be immensely better/easier if we had a third arm.

  • Using computers. Think about it: one hand on the mouse/trackpad, two on the keyboard. You could always be ready to type without having to keep moving one hand from mouse to keys as you browse the internet.
  • Doing your hair. You short-haired dudes may never know the struggle but styling long hair at the back of your head with only two hands is hard.

    Girl doing complicated hair style
    Yeah fricken right
  • Carrying things. Of course carrying one bag per hand would be better but even carrying one big thing would be easier.
  • Hugging. Do you have more than two friends? I can’t relate but if you do, hugging them would be better with a third arm.
  • Taking a selfie. One hand to hold the phone, and two to act natural.
  • Juggling. I can’t juggle, but think of how cool juggling would be if people who could juggle had three hands to do it.
  • Having an extra hand to catch things if you drop them.
  • Playing sports. Imagine dribbling in basketball with three hands. Imagine catching a football (or quaffle if you’re a nerd like me) with three hands. Imagine boxing with three hands.
  • Actually, playing Quidditch with three hands would be extra ideal because you could use that extra hand to keep ahold of your broom and still make good two-handed catches. I know the broom is a challenge and a whole point of making the sport unique but my skill level would go up exponentially if I was able to run and catch at the same time.
  • You can hold your own flashlight if you were doing something like fixing something under the hood of a car or whatnot.

think about it meme gif

There are honestly so many great uses for a third arm. It’s actually a little weird to think about how different our lives would be if we had one. Would chairs have three armrests? Would the bracelet industry grow?

It’s also a little weird to think that humans actually will be evolving in a few million years. We evolved from these ape-like people (called Lucy or homo australopithecus or something—ya girl passed grade eleven anthro!) and we will continue to evolve, especially as technology continues to impact our lives. Maybe a third arm will come from our constant need to have a phone in one hand.

What would you like to change about the human form in our next evolution? Also, do you wish humans evolved like Pokémon, or do you prefer the slow way?

That’s all for now!


P.S. I’m finally doing a giveaway of my book, The Time Company! Check it out here on Twitter.


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