Are Proposals At A Wedding Okay?

A Buzzfeed article I read the other day reminded me of a debate topic from last summer that I meant to blog about it back then, but now’s as good a time as any.

Last summer, my boss/coworker/friend sent me a video of a really cringy Pokémon themed wedding because we enjoy laughing at cringy videos and we both like Pokémon. You can watch it here, but be warned, it’s ridiculously cringy. The next day at work, we were discussing it and we mentioned the proposal at the end, raising the ever important question that seriously forced us to stop working for a few minutes while we and our two other coworkers heavily debated:

Are proposals at a wedding ever okay?

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I think yes. I said that as long as the bride and groom knew in advance and were comfortable with the plans and it was a close friend or something, then it was totally okay. As long as it’s done right, that is. Not like the story from the Buzzfeed article where the groom’s best friend unexpectedly proposed during the ceremony. I’m not okay with ceremony proposals. Ever. That was just rude and dumb. But during the reception with permission is a-okay. Do I think weddings are a great place to propose or do I want to get proposed to at a wedding? No. But overall, I do not have a problem with wedding proposals.

I was alone in this. Everyone else at work disagreed and thought that proposing at someone else’s wedding, even if the bride and groom were on board, was tacky and weird and should never happen.

And while I understood this to some degree, my coworkers were all so fiercely opposed to it, so I started asking other people. My mom said she was okay with it, but a few of my friends were not. And now I ask you, would you be okay with it?

While I’d love you to explain your position on the matter in a comment, I also have a poll.

 

That’s all for now!

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Positively Positive!!!

^ Look at those three exclamation points. I’m passionate. ^

When I watched Parks And Recreation for the first time three years ago, I was inspired by Leslie Knope. She was so fun and positive and kind, and that was so likeable. I remember deciding to try to emulate that in my own life. That mentality lasted about ten hours. It is exhausting being like Leslie Knope.

So maybe Leslie’s level of positivity is a little unrealistic. Does that mean I shouldn’t be positive at all? Of course not.

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I’m not always a negative person. In most senses I’m a realist. A middle level between negativity and positivity. I can be positive about some things and negative about others, but I’m not naïve enough to ignore facts and truth. For example, my career. While I am getting a degree and getting good grades, I know that the job market is brutal, the cost of living is ridiculous, and there are people better and more experienced than me. These are facts, but they’re not stopping me from applying to jobs and trying my best and all that. And I think that this is the proper mindset to have for such a thing.

But for other things, like my sense of humor, for example, I think I need to change. You’ve probably noticed it in past posts but I lean toward self-deprecating humor a lot. Because I can. It’s super easy for me to joke about myself so much because of who I am. I joke about my looks a lot because I am not drop-dead gorgeous and put very little effort into my appearance. I joke about my social life because I only have a few friends and spend most of my free time by myself. Joking in this way is my coping mechanism and I figured people would either find it relatable or take pity and validate me with a laugh. But I kind of recently realized that I’ve gotten nothing from this. In fact, I’d say that perhaps it’s done the opposite and perhaps driven people away because who wants to hang out with the girl who jokes about having no friends? I’ve been around negative people, and I mean like, really negative people and it’s been awful. Interacting with constantly negative people is the worst, and I never want people to think the same about me.

negative star

But I wonder if there are consequences with keeping these negative feelings internalized. Though I am joking a lot, underneath the jokes is truth and I can easily admit that. I wish I had more friends, I wish I was more photogenic, I wish my blog had more readers, I wish I had more confidence, I wish I was a better writer, I wish I was a better singer…. Is keeping that all inside and not letting it out through my measly jokes better for me? Or just better for people around me? I don’t want to seem whiny and pathetic but I don’t know if I should pretend I’m 100% loving life and loving where I am for the sake of being positive. How do I balance this?

Anyway. I do realize this post is coming off as whiny, but that is not the intention. The intention is to let you all know that I’ve really come to understand that as much as I do struggle with being positive, life is better when you are. And I’ve made the decision to be more positive. Positivity is contagious and fun and Leslie Knope wouldn’t have succeeded without it. I’m going into my final year of school and then going into the rest of my life, and being bitter and negative won’t do me anything. April Ludgate would be nowhere without Leslie and I can’t rely on the Leslies of the world to push me forward. Even if I can’t be fully positive (because, let’s face it, it’s really hard to be positive about most aspects of school), being neutral is still better than negative.

This won’t be easy. I’m so used to having negative jokes and being sarcastically sardonic, so forcing myself to not write them or say them will take some time. But it’ll be worth it knowing people can come to my blog or interact with me and have a more positive exchange. Besides, I know I have so many things to be positive about, so I just need to focus on that and focus on smiling more.

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Any tips for maintaining and living a positive life would be appreciated!

That’s all for now!

 

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I Hate Email

Y’all. Lol. Hey. These are all words that I can’t use when I write emails, and that is mighty unfortunate because I use those words a lot.

It’s not that I hate email as a service. Quite the opposite, really, as I think it’s very useful. I just hate how formal and ridged it is. The only people I’m emailing nowadays are professors when I have a question, or companies when I want them to hire me. I hate doing that. I hate using a nice greeting and being extra polite because they don’t know me and it’s hard to tell intentions through words. I hate having to re-read my message sixty times before I hit send bcause if there’s a typo, I can’t sent another email that just says: *because.

Email is the most used communication tool in businesses, but there are studies that show that other forms of communication like instant messaging are more effective because they’re faster and less formal. I subscribe to this theory.

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I am so much more comfortable contacting someone through messaging. Fast, casual, with emoticons and slang. And because so many people probably feel the same, it just makes our collective email use so much worse. For example, if someone didn’t put a greeting in a text/instant message, no one would be offended. Just get right into it. Good. But with email, it could be seen as rude to do that. And there’s no rule book, so chumps like me are left struggling and rewriting emails so I can raise my chances of not offending the recipient, who, honestly, is going to spend twenty seconds reading my email.

Another example is in terms of last words. One time I emailed a prof explaining that the TA unfairly marked one of my papers and asked her to take a look at it. She replied saying she’d do it on the weekend and get back to me on Monday. I spent a while debating if I should reply to that. I mean, did she really want to refresh her inbox and see an email from me, feel obligated to open it because I’m a student, only to have it read: Great, thanks. What a waste of an email. If it was an instant message, that’d be fine. In fact, I’d probably say Great, thanks 🙂 and that’d be totally okay.

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As much as I don’t like it in so many aspects of life, I do understand that formality can be important. We do want to make a good impression. Being polite is always good and I think I usually am a fairly polite person. I know not to start my job application emails with Yo dawg, but is what is so wrong with Hey? Hey is me. I start 50% of my conversations with hey and 80% of my sentences with so. That’ll be revealed pretty fast once someone starts talking to me in person. I wonder if employers are surprised by this. Do they hire somebody who they know use good email etiquette and formalities and are just mindblown when that person ends up being a young adult who uses the word ‘dope’ in place of ‘nice’ verbally?

Anyway. Email isn’t the worst. I’m just picky. And as a communications student, I think it’s very ambitious that I think critically about society’s communication methods and then am able to express my thoughts in this well-written and formal blog post.

And I’m not saying we should all delete our email accounts, because that’s silly. I just think we as a society should all loosen up and chill out and accept that when it comes to writing anything, especially emails, a more casual and relaxed tone would make everyone a lot happier. If you run a business, perhaps look into online management systems like Slack which encourage streamlined instant messaging.

Do you hate (or strongly dislike) email too? Do you struggle with formality etiquette constantly too? Leave a comment. Or email me your thoughts, if you’re up for that. I’ll reply, but I’ll rewrite my reply six times before I send it out of fear of disappointing and/or offending you by my use of “Lol”.

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That’s all for now!

P.S. I realize that this is ironic for my six email followers and anyone else who has email notifications turned on for my posts. Thank you for following me.

 

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My Kids Will Be Lucky I’m Not A Hoarder

Last week I went with my parents to help out at my grandparents’ house. As of last September, both my grandparents on that side are dead, so now the family has to deal with their estate. My dad, as an executor, has been doing a lot of work there, getting the house ready to sell and sorting finances and whatnot. My grandparents had been living in that house for about fifty years, so they had fifty years worth of junk in there. When my dad and I arrived there on Wednesday night, I was led to the basement where my dad had piled boxes and boxes of stuff in the back rooms. He said he had already taken not one, not two, but twelve van loads of junk to Value Village, and that was after the five kids already took a bunch of stuff for themselves. Twelve van loads and there was still so much junk to sort through.

junk meme

And that boggles my mind because when I go to away University every September, basically everything I own fits into one van. And yet my grandparents had accumulated probably over fifteen van loads of stuff. Stuff ranging from broken furniture to TVs to ancient books to candles to glasses to shaving cream to screwdrivers to scarves to approximately 500 curling pins. It took us two whole days, but we finally managed to sort it all and, with the help of several aunts and uncles, have a successful estate sale on the Saturday.

But it was a lot of work. I’m so glad my dad already took those twelve van loads away because I can’t even fathom having to go through all of that too.

My future kids will be lucky because I am not a hoarder. And I’m not saying my grandparents were hoarders by the technical definition, but there’s really no excuse for having about 15 sets of drinking glasses. My mom, who we put in charge of sorting all the kitchen stuff, was not pleased when we kept unearthing yet another dirty box and bringing it up to her for arranging. When I’m away at school, my mom gave me a few glasses, maybe four, but last year, I only used one. I’d just keep washing and reusing that same one glass. And the same two plates and two spoons and one bowl. I work well on very little.

Though I don’t really identify as one, I guess I am a minimalist. Except with more colours because I really don’t understand why minimalists are scared of colours.

minimalismI used to laugh at minimalists. Like, do they really think they’re so much better than the rest of us because they don’t have a bed skirt or any wall art? But it’s not about that. It’s about living a freer life and not having a lifestyle that revolves around material possessions. You don’t need ten pairs of shoes to live a full life. Besides, think of all the money I save by not buying things.

When me and my future attractive husband are dead and my future successful children are left to deal with my house, they’ll be lucky I don’t hoard things or have an excess of belongings. They’ll be lucky that I understand how unnecessary so many things are and do not care for a lot of things (like decorative pillows).

My future successful children will have it fairly easy. I can’t say the same for myself though. While my parents’ eyes have been opened by the recent events with my grandparents’ house and they plan to do a small purge, they are not minimalists at all. My mother is constantly trying to get me to buy more clothes and I’m not sure how someone could need more than one or two screwdrivers, (especially if they have interchangeable bits) but I guarantee my father has several down in his workshop.

I’m not saying everyone has to immediately convert to a minimalist lifestyle or toss out all their favorite things, I’m just suggesting that perhaps you take advantage of spring and do some spring cleaning. Get rid of any old stuff. Sell it online, throw it out, or, better yet, have a garage sale! Tis the season to make dealing with your inevitable death easier on your loved ones!

That’s all for now!

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Things I’d Do If I Had The Time

I often dream about having unlimited free time. Can you imagine never worrying about going to work or school or making money and instead being able to do things you actually want to do? I can’t fully fathom it, but I do like to think about it. So much so, that I have a list of things I wish I could do, but don’t have the time. And while I do know that I waste a lot of time online or watching TV reruns, I justify those actions because they’re temporary fills. I’m scrolling Tumblr for an hour because I can’t very well watch a movie in that time instead. If I had five hours to kill, then things would be different.

Anyways, in my perfect little dream world where my bank account has a lot of zeros to the left of the decimal and I have no commitments, here are the things that I’d do, and one day hope to:

Watch the Star Wars and The X-Men movies

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I have never fully seen anything from these franchises. It’s shocking, I know, considering you’d think they’d be right up my alley, but I just never got into them. And now they’re both up to like seven movies each and I don’t have time for that. I do want to watch them, though. Eventually I’ll get around to it…maybe I’ll do one franchise over this summer…

Read more books

With school and TV, it takes me a while to read a book, which sucks because I like to read. There are a few books that I’ve heard good things about and want to read and hopefully this summer I can try. My lack of time to read is also a reason I’ve never seen Game Of Thrones, because I know I’d want to read the books first and I have no time to read those huge things.

Finish all the video games I started

I don’t play video games anymore. I got back into them last summer for a few weeks, but that’s all. I still have all my games and would love to go back to them, but some of them, the console ones especially, need several hours of time. With the Nintendo Switch being released last month, I’m seeing a lot of people online playing Zelda, one of my favourites, and I yearn to get back to that world.

Finish my novel

I’m slowly working on this. I’ve just finished some editing and started writing again, which is great because I do enjoy it, but I know I need to sit down and write for several hours rather than the hour or so I’ve been doing. If I had time, I’d definitely commit to it.

Binge-watch TV more shows

I have a small list of shows I want to watch including Smallville, Arrested Development, and Veep, but I know that if I had complete freedom I’d watch so many more. I love TV.

Learn how to make pottery

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I’ve always wanted to try pottery. Shaping things just with your hands looks so interesting and I’ve always wondered what that clay feels like as it spins.

Teach myself Photoshop and video editing

I think the Adobe suite is really cool and I have a basic knowledge of it from a course I took last year, but I’d love to learn more. There are a lot of tutorials out there and I know people say they taught themselves just by clicking around on it, so if I had time, I’d teach myself. This is also something I feel I should do sooner rather than later as a lot of the jobs I apply for want a knowledge of Adobe.

Go on a roadtrip

The idea of roadtrips are so romanticized nowadays but I’ve completely fallen for it. I think it’d be so much fun to pack into a car with friends and drive across a country while listening to music and eating junk food. Though I guess the problem with this one, aside from my lack of time, is the fact that I don’t have a group of friends or a place to go.

 

One day. One day I’ll do all of these. Some aren’t too unrealistic and if I really budget my time and commit, I should be able to complete these tasks. There’s only 86400 seconds in a day. As anyone can understand, things like school or work or parenting or sleeping take priority, sucking up a lot of those seconds, but there’ll come a day where all 86400 seconds are mine.

What would you do if you had the time?

 

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