Board Game Culture

It wasn’t often, but once in a while, my family would play some board games together. It was always the classics: Trouble, Pictionary, Sorry, Cadoo, Crazy 8’s. That’s what all the kids were playing. And then it seemed like board games fell out of style to some extent. Or maybe it was just in my circles. Either way, when they came back into style, they came back hard. Board games today are insane.

My boyfriend and I went into one of those game shops because we were looking for a birthday gift. We didn’t really know what we were looking for, but we stood there facing shelves and shelves of games we’d never heard of. The employees know a lot though, and several would talk to us and try and help point us in the right direction.

I like board games and I like trying new games that friends are excited about, but I find that games today are wildly complicated. No more is it simply moving your little marker along a path for a tight 15. It’s so much more. I never feel dumber than when I’m an hour into playing a game with friends who seem to grasp things more than me.

In the midst of writing this post, I came across this video, which fits well with the theme:

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A post shared by Milton Plays Solo (@miltonplayssolo)

That being said, there is this interesting flip side. As much as there are complicated games you can find at the niche game stores, there’s also a huge rise in very basic party games available anywhere. The kind where you just pass out cards based on superlatives or memes or something. And don’t get me wrong, they’re fun, but they don’t have much replayability unless your social circle constantly changes. I’m kind of fascinated by the popularity of these games and how/if they evolve over time.

There’s no denying that the board/card game industry is popping off from both big companies as well as indie labels. And that’s really great because as far as hobbies and social activities go, it’s a pretty harmless, fun thing. But I do wonder if this is just a phase. The board game genre really seems to target young adults, and I have to wonder how sustainable that is.

Especially when the games are pretty expensive. All the games the employee showed us in the game store that one day were around if not above $50, which is a lot in my opinion. I can’t justify that for one game, nevermind the fact that I’ve never played it and may not like it. I’m glad that there are places like board game cafes and libraries where you can just try out games before you commit to owning them.

I know I seem negative here, but I do like board games and I’m glad I have some friends who are down to clown with them. I’d love to know which games have delighted you, so let me know your faves or recommendations.

And since we’re kind of on the topic, I want to reshare a blog post I wrote last year about these cool board game escape rooms that my friends and I adore. Read about the Unlock games here!

That’s all for now, gamers!

 

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Friendship Despite Adult Schedules

I have a small friend group of five people, all spread out across southern Ontario. For the past two years we’ve picked a weekend and gone camping. Though the snow has barely melted, we’re already planning for this year’s trip.

Step one was to list out every weekend from early June to late September in a shared spreadsheet and identify when we might be free. Between jobs, family obligations, and whatever else, we don’t all align until the end of the summer.

Step two was to pick a campsite. My boyfriend and I took on this task, and when we had a plan, I brought it to the group because we want everyone’s go-ahead before we book.

Step three is to discuss as a group and confirm things. At the time of writing, we’re currently stuck on this step, because once again, the complexities of adult schedules make this very hard. I think 4/5 of us may be the best we can do in the next week.

Even once we book, we’ll need a few more meetings down the line to sort things out like packing lists and itineraries. Only time will tell how easy it’ll be to arrange those.

This is a classic adult conundrum. We’re all on different schedules with different flexibilities. I’m glad my friends have busy, productive lives. I just wish our free time aligned more, and that we lived closer to each other, so planning get togethers wasn’t such a project. Because I’m sure all this will only get more chaotic as we continue to live our lives.

But it’s in this chaos that you realize how meaningful the friendships are. It’s the people who are willing to put up with the back and forth planning and actually put in the effort that are worth it.

I think about all the friendships I’ve lost over the years, and most of them fell apart simply because one or more of us were unwilling or unable to put in that effort and maintain the relationship once it required a level of finessing. Losing connections like that is a part of life, but it still sucks. Especially in this digital age when it’s easier than ever to stay connected virtually.

Does anyone have the Friends lifestyle where their closest circle all live within a few minutes of them? I’d think that with the cost of living being so wild and remote jobs being common, it’s more likely that people are all over the place. So we’re stuck putting in considerable effort to hang out.

And you hear about the ‘loneliness epidemic’ we’re facing, and yeah, it makes sense. If I didn’t have this friend group willing to jump on Google calls or plan weekends to hang out, I’d be much, much lonelier than I am.

If you’re reading this, this is your sign to appreciate your busy friends who still make time for you. And to congratulate yourself if you’re the busy one who can still give your friends the love they deserve. As painful as it is to find time for all of us to hang sometimes, it always results in a great time together, and that’s what matters.

That’s all for now.

 

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Birthday Wishes

Almost any given day, I can open up Facebook and see that it’s someone’s birthday. Facebook so helpfully encourages me to write a message on their wall. I rarely do.

For one, Facebook walls are kind of old-school. It’s so public, and I think most people just lurk on Facebook (and most social media) nowadays. Don’t get me wrong, I still love getting a nice wall message on my birthday, but for the past several years, the only people who actually use my wall are people from the curling club. And they’re from an older generation (no shade, just facts), whereas people closer to my age who have birthday wishes to send do it via a text or a private message on some other platform. I think it’s interesting how behaviour on platforms has evolved so much over the last few years.

The other reason I rarely send birthday wishes on someone’s wall has nothing to do with Facebook or walls. It has everything to do with the fact that I’m not actually close with most of my Facebook friends. This is probably the norm for most people. We collect friends over the year, but are they even friends? Were they ever friends? I have some people on Facebook who I simply did a school project with way back when. I have old elementary school relations who I haven’t spoken to in a decade.

Have you ever heard of Dunbar’s number? It’s a theory by anthropologist Robin Dunbar who believes that humans have a few levels of relationships, with the maximum being 150 social connections that your brain can handle. The smallest number of social connections is 5, which are the core people closest to you. The next level consists of 15 people (including that core 5) who you engage with fairly regularly. Then there’s a level of 50 people that you know somewhat well but don’t keep up with that closely. And then lastly, there’s Dunbar’s number of 150, which I already explained.

Do I think that the 150 number is hard and fast? No. But I do believe there are levels to our relationships, and I think that is the clearest for me when it comes to birthday wishes.

There are probably about 15-20 people I wish happy birthdays to (but I admit to forgetting once or twice…). These are the people who I talk to regularly at curling or over video calls or in real life. These are the people who care about me and show a desire to maintain a relationship with me (and I with them). Everyone else is just people who don’t really know me and certainly don’t care if I post on their wall or not. And that’s fine. It works both ways.

I know I have some weird hangups when it comes to friendships. After years of being the odd man out in groups or struggling to maintain friendships once we’re not in the same vicinity, I find myself with a small circle and a value for genuineness.

And that’s why I see birthday wishes as a mark of friendship in some ways. Someone going out of their way to say something nice, even if Facebook reminded them of the day. I had a friend in university who I thought I was fairly close with, even attending their birthday party. I don’t think I ever received a happy birthday from them, so it does not surprise me that we don’t talk now, years after graduation.

That being said, a happy birthday message isn’t the be-all end-all. While it can be a marker of friendship, it can also be a marker of a lack of one. If we don’t talk except to wish each other a happy birthday once a year, it’s clear that there’s nothing there, and I’d rather we just didn’t do that.

My birthday was months ago, so I really don’t know why I’m thinking about this now. Birthdays and aging is already such a weird thing, so I know it’s perhaps unfair to add a whole other layer of complexity into the mix, but here I am. I acknowledge that I’m weird about this, but I’d like to hear what you think. Do you care if friends don’t wish you a happy birthday? Do you pass on well-wishes to every Facebook friend you have?

RIP Matthew Perry

That’s all for now!

 

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Do You Have A Third Place?

There’s this concept that humans should have three ‘places’ with home being the first place, work or school being the second, and then the third place is a place where you voluntarily go to interact/communicate with regulars and be free from productivity. This term of a third place came from the book The Great Good Place in 1989 by sociologist Ray Oldenberg. I’ve never read the book, but the concept of a third place has lived in my head for a while since I heard about it, though I don’t even remember where I heard about it.

One thing the pandemic definitely taught us is the value of community and balance. And with the pandemic also combining first and second places for many people (including myself), having a third place is even more important for good balance.

My third place is my local curling club. I’ve been curling there as an adult for five years now, and it’s such a great place with some really amazing people, and of course we all love to curl! But that’s not what makes it a third place. What makes it a third place is that when we finish a game, it’s customary to sit together and drink and chat. We’re happily and voluntarily socializing on the regular. Most sports don’t really offer a social aspect. You have to organize it yourself, often at a secondary location, if you want to do it.

Surely, even if you’ve never heard of it before, you’d agree that by definition alone, a third place sounds like an important, valuable thing that everyone should have. And yet, a lot of people don’t. Maybe they’ve just moved to a new area and haven’t had time to develop a third place. Maybe they can’t afford to go to a third place. Maybe between work and family obligations, they don’t have time for a third place. Maybe they don’t have the interests that align with a public third place. Maybe their third place closed down. Maybe they don’t live in an area conducive to third places. Whatever the reason, the third place is dying.

But before curling, I did not have a third place. Back in the day, my family were churchgoers, but I didn’t talk to anyone there. Nor did I attend voluntarily. I went to my local library enough but didn’t really do too much conversing. The result? I was lonely.

So maybe doing as the Friends gang did and constantly hanging out at a coffee shop is unrealistic in today’s world, but there are so many other options and third places out there. From community classes to dog parks to even a hair salon, any place where you’re welcome to converse with others and feel like part of a community is a valid third place if it serves you well.

But what about online spaces? Could a Discord server, for example, be a third place? Unclear. While online communities, fandoms, and groups do check off a lot of the boxes that a third place represents (there’s a great list of third place characteristics here), some people/researchers believe that not physically going to a space and having that traditional human connection stops it from being viable. I kind of disagree with this stance, as I think that during the pandemic especially, I personally was able to create a decent virtual third place where friends could hop on a video call and chat.

That being said, I think everyone, regardless of how active and connected they are to people online, should have some time away from screens to interact in real life with people physically around them in a place that’s not home. Maybe humans have evolved to need and enjoy a fourth place.

From friendship to a change of scenery to different opinions to relaxation, there are so many benefits to having a third place, and if you don’t currently have one, try to find one.

What’s your third place?

 

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Random Ramblings Because I Have Nothing Else To Say

It’s been a while since I’ve found myself needing a blog post to go up and having nothing ready. Usually I at least have some half-written draft I can finish and publish. Sometimes I have an idea that I have time to flesh out fully. But this week, I have nothing. And you know what? That’s okay. For now. I hope it’s just a temporary outage.

And since I didn’t want to just skip a week, I figured I’d throw some word vomit down and see where that takes me. I don’t often get to just ramble because I usually have some specific direction I take my posts.

So what’s new with me? Not much. I did just come back from a long weekend up in Tobermory, though. Some friends and I rented a little cabin for a few days and had a lot of fun going on hikes and ‘roughing’ it. We had great weather for September. There were five of us, and it’s really weird to think that this friend group came together during the pandemic. I genuinely didn’t know two of them a few years ago, and now they’re some of the most important people to me. I really, really hope we’re able to maintain this friendship down the line as our lives get busy. We’re all the same breed of silly, and that’s special, I think.

The Grotto

View from the Devil’s Monument loop hike

I was never someone who had a lot of true friends, and for a while that was fine because I filled my time with TV shows and fandom and social media. I was content arranging my life around that. I remember a period in university where I genuinely had six or seven TV shows to watch on a Tuesday night alone. I loved it. I made sure homework and dinner were done by 8pm so I could dive into that. But things are different now. I’ve definitely aged out of fandom culture to some extent, but I also am not as enthralled and devoted to much anymore. I’m not even watching six shows a week, never mind one day. Has my taste evolved or has TV just gotten worse? Probably both.

And hey, speaking of TV, this is some wild strike going on, eh? I am definitely on the side of the writers and actors here. It’s ridiculous that networks and companies were able to even run the way they were. Capitalism is truly a disease. I hope this strike ends soon and marks the start of a real positive change in the industry.

I don’t want to start moaning about how unfair the world is now, so here’s a new topic: my brother’s birthday is coming up soon, and I don’t know what to get him. What would the mid-20’s males in your life like to receive? I don’t think I’m a bad gift giver, but I want to give gifts that people like getting. My parents like to remind us that “it’s a blessing to not need anything” which is true but doesn’t help me when I’m on page 7 of Google results for gift ideas and still have nothing. I don’t think I’m the easiest to buy for either, though.

My boyfriend and I have agreed so far (aka I made him agree to it) that we not get each other Valentine’s or anniversary gifts. We can go out for dinner or do something together, but I don’t want him buying me something because he feels like he has to, as such holidays often promote. I don’t need anything. And I don’t enjoy the pressure of having to find a perfect gift either. So no.

Maybe because I was thinking about relationships just now, but a show popped into my mind and I realized that I have never mentioned it on my blog. Farming For Love. It’s a new Canadian show, but it’s a variation of a worldwide franchise with the same concept: a dating show trying to find partners for average farmers. I’m not usually one to watch dating shows, but since my boyfriend is from a more rural area and I joke about that a lot, it caught my eye. We binged it recently (shout out to Rogers Ignite) and were surprised at how entertaining it was for both of us. It’s just as goofy as any other dating show out there but seemed a bit less dramatic and staged than you’d expect. To my fellow Canadians looking for something to watch in place of the normal fall TV broadcasts, give Farming For Love a try.

All of the sudden, this post has gotten quite lengthy, so I’ll end it here. I had fun writing this, actually, and maybe I’ll do more posts like these. If you liked it. Tell me if you do. Either way, thanks for putting up with this in place of my normal, more focused content.

That’s all for now.

 

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