Friendship Despite Adult Schedules

I have a small friend group of five people, all spread out across southern Ontario. For the past two years we’ve picked a weekend and gone camping. Though the snow has barely melted, we’re already planning for this year’s trip.

Step one was to list out every weekend from early June to late September in a shared spreadsheet and identify when we might be free. Between jobs, family obligations, and whatever else, we don’t all align until the end of the summer.

Step two was to pick a campsite. My boyfriend and I took on this task, and when we had a plan, I brought it to the group because we want everyone’s go-ahead before we book.

Step three is to discuss as a group and confirm things. At the time of writing, we’re currently stuck on this step, because once again, the complexities of adult schedules make this very hard. I think 4/5 of us may be the best we can do in the next week.

Even once we book, we’ll need a few more meetings down the line to sort things out like packing lists and itineraries. Only time will tell how easy it’ll be to arrange those.

This is a classic adult conundrum. We’re all on different schedules with different flexibilities. I’m glad my friends have busy, productive lives. I just wish our free time aligned more, and that we lived closer to each other, so planning get togethers wasn’t such a project. Because I’m sure all this will only get more chaotic as we continue to live our lives.

But it’s in this chaos that you realize how meaningful the friendships are. It’s the people who are willing to put up with the back and forth planning and actually put in the effort that are worth it.

I think about all the friendships I’ve lost over the years, and most of them fell apart simply because one or more of us were unwilling or unable to put in that effort and maintain the relationship once it required a level of finessing. Losing connections like that is a part of life, but it still sucks. Especially in this digital age when it’s easier than ever to stay connected virtually.

Does anyone have the Friends lifestyle where their closest circle all live within a few minutes of them? I’d think that with the cost of living being so wild and remote jobs being common, it’s more likely that people are all over the place. So we’re stuck putting in considerable effort to hang out.

And you hear about the ‘loneliness epidemic’ we’re facing, and yeah, it makes sense. If I didn’t have this friend group willing to jump on Google calls or plan weekends to hang out, I’d be much, much lonelier than I am.

If you’re reading this, this is your sign to appreciate your busy friends who still make time for you. And to congratulate yourself if you’re the busy one who can still give your friends the love they deserve. As painful as it is to find time for all of us to hang sometimes, it always results in a great time together, and that’s what matters.

That’s all for now.

 

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