Changing Dreams

When people talk about their dreams and life goals, it’s always in a forever kind of sense. “I’ve always dreamt of living in Paris since I was a child!” “I’ve wanted to play in NHL since I first learned to skate!” There’s this underlying messaging of the dreams we have as kids being the dreams we always have and yearn for. And I’m sure you’ve heard someone tell you that we should never, ever give up on our dreams.

But dreams change. I wanted to be a singer when I was a kid, and now I only sing in the car and sometimes the shower. I’m not mad about this. I would have hated that life.

The Wooooorst GIF.

We don’t talk about changing dreams enough. It’s okay to let go of a goal. It’s okay to have new dreams. This shouldn’t be seen as settling or giving up. It should be applauded.

I think about my goals even from a few years ago. I have posts on this blog talking about how a dream job would be to work behind the scenes for a TV show or somewhere in the entertainment industry. But it was wildly unrealistic. I have no experience, no connections, and I live in Canada, where the industry is small and competitive. While, sure, I still think it’d be a fun job, I’ve let go of that dream.

Let it go gif.

I’m content producing content in other ways (ha!).

But aside from that dream being unrealistic, it doesn’t fit me anymore. All the things I like doing now are not things that would have been possible if CBC had plucked me out of school and given me a job. I wouldn’t be able to curl three times a week. I wouldn’t be able to play online games with my friends every night. I wouldn’t be able to stay home and save money.

Instead, I have a job that doesn’t suck, and now I can dream about a life where I have hobbies and friends and flexibility.

Parks And Rec Waffles, friends, work GIF.

At work a few months ago, there was a meeting ice breaker question of “what is your dream house?” and my answer was “affordable!” It’s sad that an affordable house is my dream, but here in Ontario, that’s the reality I live in, and I think it’s fine to have smaller, more realistic dreams. Honestly, some of the other answers, like a house on the beach sounds wet and stressful, and I don’t want to clean a huge mansion. A smaller, affordable house is genuinely fine for me.

There’s been a societal change in people just yearning for a simple life. Yeah, having loads of money and exciting adventures would be very nice, but people just want to be stress-free and happy, and sometimes that comes from a simple 9-5 and hobbies that aren’t a hustle. I think I’m in that boat. Or at least way more than I was five/six years ago. And that’s fine. That’s my point of this whole post: I don’t think that adopting new values and dreams is at all a bad thing.

Things change, people change gif.

Have your dreams changed ever?

 

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Trying To Fix The Blogging Community With A Discord

Once or twice a year, the state of the blogosphere makes me particularly sad so I write some post about it and blogging and whatnot. I like being able to get my feelings out and I’m glad that others agree with me, but nothing really changes on either end. Blogging is kind of dying because creative people are turning to YouTube and Tiktok as their outlets. The people who are still here find themselves talking to a void.

Nothing fills that black void gif.

The media landscape is changing, and that’s fine. Part of being a human is adapting to things. Even WordPress itself has adapted. As a company, they’re pushing paid plans a lot more. They’re marketing to small business owners. They got rid of the Community Pool (I’ve mentioned this several times before because I’ll die mad about it). It doesn’t seem like a place for hobby bloggers anymore.

But where does? Even social media has been disappointing me. Engagement is low, and those blog promotion accounts just blindly overshare posts from the same 10 people, so it gets real annoying real fast. Other platforms have spammy users or the communities die out quickly. It’s sad.

Unfortunate and sad gif.

I know I’m to blame partly as I don’t put as much time and effort into self-promotion and interacting with others as I should, but I know a lot of bloggers are feeling this community disconnect.

So I want to do something about it.

I asked around and looked for one, but I couldn’t find a Discord for bloggers that wasn’t just for one niche. So I made one.

I'm taking charge gif.

I have experience running a small Discord, and think the platform is great for connecting people, so I want to at least get the ball rolling on making a place for bloggers of all experience levels to feel less alone. Blogging is a solo task, but a strong community can make up for it.

>>>>>    Join the Discord here!      <<<<<

Please join. Please tell your blogging friends. Don’t let this flop. And if you have ideas to make the Discord better, let me know!

Honestly, I’ve had a server set up and this post half written for a few months now, but was afraid of failure. And while that’s still true, the fact that Twitter is taking a wild and public nose dive is concerning and inspiring me to take some action. I’d rather have a backup plan ready in case we lose it. I have no plans to leave Twitter, but whether Twitter survives or not doesn’t change the fact that I think having a community for bloggers is a good idea.

Just In Case Anything Gets Bad gif.

Once again, please join and please help be a part of building a sustainable community for all bloggers! As the saying goes, it takes a village. 

That’s all for now!

 

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The Best Year(s) Of Your Life

So far in your life, what age do you associate with the best memories? This was the question posed by my boss one morning as a meeting conversation starter. It forced me to think hard.

Thinking GIF.

But honestly, I didn’t have a solid answer. I don’t really recall my kid years to be particularly noteworthy. My teen years that I remember more were also just fine. I grew into myself more and certainly had less stress than I do now, but I don’t think they were at all exciting enough to be the best. My university years were certainly not the best, as I constantly felt slightly out of place and like I was missing out on something better. This brings us to now, where I am a young adult.

Weirdly enough, last year when I was 25, I think I had a pretty good year. It seems weird given that COVID was still very much a thing that dictated a lot about how I lived, but I had friends, I had hobbies, I had a job. I felt reasonably content with where I was at, all things considered. This year, age 26, also seems to be going fairly well.

Not Bad Right GIF.

But is this the best? Is this as good as it gets? As the youngest person in my department at work, I really hoped that wasn’t the case and that my comrades would tell me that their late 20’s and 30’s were very fun. Only one did say that he felt he was in a good place (mid-30’s) and looked forward to the future. But we all agreed mid-20’s was a sweet spot.

Which brings me to a question I’ve pondered for so long it’s been on a list of blogging ideas for a long time: Am I wasting my good years? Despite the good things I’ve listed about my life as of late, I have to wonder if I’m making the most of my life. As mentioned, I felt like I did not make good use of my life in school—a time that people consider their good years—in terms of meeting people, exploring the city, or developing new skills. When looking at the lives of my peers now, I have to wonder if I’m squandering my overall adult potential.

Do better gif.
Me to me

For years people have told me that they loved being my age. “Enjoy it while it lasts” kind of thing. Except this is often being told to me by people decades older than me. And when they were my age, they were able to rent an apartment on a single salary and didn’t have to worry about global warming. I feel like I spent too much time being stressed out over those things too, which could be taking away from my well-being or setting me up for decades of bad years.

At the end of the day, we’re all on different paths. My coworker’s idea of a great mid-30’s life could be my worst nightmare. There’s no right answer and I know I just have to keep living and working toward what I think is the best.

Do your best gif.
Also me to me.

Here’s to years where you and I are thriving, no matter how old we may be.

 

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Greetings From Isolation

I have COVID. Or, had. I’m writing this on a Sunday, but I’m hoping that by the time this is posted and you read this, I’ll be testing negative and back out in society, but for now, I am stuck in my room.

Isolated in my room.

I’m fine. Day 1 was the worst day because I had a headache and chills. After that, I just had a cough as my worst symptom, and even that wasn’t too bad. I already work from home, and I was able to still do that, so that was good and kept me busy as I sit in isolation.

It’s funny, I spend easily 20 hours of my day in my room normally, but I never realized how important the power to leave is until I no longer had it. Now all of the sudden I can’t go eat breakfast at the kitchen table or chat with my dad in the family room, and I miss it a lot. I want so badly to be able to go downstairs to find myself a snack, and not rely on someone else.

You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone GIF.

My parents are great, though. Because my brother had COVID at Easter*, they were prepared to handle me. They bring me food and drinks on a little tray outside my door, and I eat at my desk and then put the dishes back out in the hall. My brother, when he’s home, is using a different bathroom so I have the close one all to myself.

Thank goodness that the Nintendo Switch has a handheld mode. I’ve spent all weekend playing games in my room. If COVID was a thing in 2010, I wouldn’t be able to do the same on the Wii, given that that needs a whole TV and space to move. Also shoutout to the library, because I got my dad to borrow some games for me, so I have fresh content to play.

In the grand scheme of things, I know I’m very lucky that my COVID experience has been manageable and that I have a family and house that can accommodate it easily. Even my boss was urging me to take a sick day if I needed it, and I know that’s a privilege many others do not get. It seems so weird to be sick and still feel blessed.

Could Be Worse GIF.

Where did I get COVID? Disney World, probably. The happiest place on earth has no room for precautions and safety for its visitors. They get on their speakers and tell us in their long lines “Get closer together! Make space for more people! Squeeze together with people around you!” so I really shouldn’t be surprised. It’s Florida, after all.

My boyfriend has COVID too. He has worse symptoms, but still nothing awful. Again, I’m hoping that by the time you’re reading this, he’s also back to being fine.

That’s my update for the week. I was really hoping I could avoid getting it, but here I am, so now I get to milk it for content.

sadie-youre-welcome-gif ⋆ BYT // Brightest Young Things

* My brother had COVID at Easter, effectively canceling our Easter dinner plans, and I have it now the weekend of Canadian Thanksgiving. No fun holidays for our household, I guess.

 

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What Does Self-Care Look Like To You?

Self-care seems like a buzzword, but it is an important concept. I think the pandemic has forced us to spend more time with ourselves, and we’ve realized that maybe we weren’t caring for ourselves as well as we should be. And of course for parents, people with demanding jobs, or people with limited resources, self-care is often something set aside.

Self Care GIF.

I feel like I’ve been talking about Instagram a lot on my blog, but some of the stuff I see on there fascinates me. Maybe it’s just the algorithm, but lately I’ve seen a lot of content about self-care. Only I don’t really agree with what I see. Instagram says self-care is making protein smoothies at 6am and writing in a journal and using 14 skincare products on your face at night. I do none of that.

To me, self-care is having hobbies. It’s having a creative outlet. It’s having friends and healthy relationships. It’s learning how to be nice to yourself. It’s doing things that make you happy and not following what others think. It’s having goals. It’s experiencing everything in moderation.

It's Complex gif.

I don’t like how self-care has become an aesthetic online and how it’s all about appearing a certain way (skinny, in cute activewear, and in a clean minimalist apartment). Me going to the curling club twice a week in the winter is self-care to me, but you’ll never see the Insta girlies doing something like that.

Under the aesthetic, there is some truth to what’s on Instagram. Caring for your body, getting fresh air, and being mindful, are all great things that can definitely be a part of good self-care, but just seeing it done over and over in such a rigid and commercialized way just feels gross to me. It feels inauthentic and fake.

Bad Vibes GIF.

Or am I wrong? Is waking up early and taking “hot girl walks” (a term I did not make up) and eating yogurt bowls the key to a better life? Have I been suffering this whole time and never even known?

What does self-care look like to you?

 

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