Roasting The Denim DIYs I Found Online

Recently, a pair of jeans that was probably pushing a decade, developed a wear spot just above my left knee. And after a few weeks of that looking like a cool jean distress, it grew into a full hole. It got bigger a few times when I’d accidentally shove my foot in the hole while putting on the pants. Then eventually, since it was right above my knee, every time I sat down, the fabric would stretch and make it bigger too. It got to a point where it was uncomfortable to wear and looked plain silly. Also there was another hole in the side of the leg, but that’s unrelated.

So I made jorts!

my jorts.

All my years of sewing lessons as a kid came in handy as I cut them, folded the hem, and stitched up the folds in a way that was not only even, but so no stitching was visible. I think I did a pretty good job!

But then I had two pant legs left over. Before I tossed them, I wanted to see if there were ways I could use them. I’m not too crafty, but I just wanted to see what my options were. I took to Google, and that’s when I came across a plethora of How To Repurpose Jeans content. Look, I’m all for sustainable living and making use of things you have, but some of these ideas are just ugly. So let’s roast them.

Obviously, a disclaimer that I am untalented and do respect the creativity, time, and skill that went into the making of these. And if denim things are your style, this is not to trash that either. These are just my silly opinions and we’re all just here for a good time, okay?

denim angels tree ornaments
Not only are the angels kind of basic looking (it’s the boxiness), but any other fabric would have probably looked nicer than denim for such a craft.
cubes of denim
These are apparently lavender-scented denim cubes and I’m not even going to begin to explain how weird that is. 
denim cowboy boot Christmas stocking.
First of all, I hate that seam down the middle. Second, can you even put stuff in it or is it just for decoration? Denim, cowboy boots, and butterflies don’t exactly scream Christmas.
Denim corset
Imagine unironically wearing this? It’s well-made, but corsets are supposed to be ‘sexy’ to some extent and denim just really doesn’t do that in this case.
What am I supposed to carry in this? Three quarters? This better be a fake purse for a toddler or something.
Wall tassles.
I’m not too sure what these are, honestly. I think these are just supposed to hang on walls. Whatever they are, ew. Never.
a denim couch
A couch in that colour is fine. A couch made of denim may also be fine. But this looks so uncomfortable with seams and pockets all visible and whatnot.
A toolbox with denim inner lining.
The idea of giving a box more compartments as pockets is fine, but I would not want to open a box to find jean wallpaper. Can you even clean it?
Jean pockets attached to a bulletin board
All those mis-matched pockets on a bulletin board may be functional, but that one bottom middle one that has the front of the jeans with the zipper weirds me out! It’s a cursed object.
denim pencil cube
That whole box to hold like six pencils and maybe one sticky note in a ‘pocket’? Imagine having this taking up space on your desk.
denim pumpkins.
These don’t even look Halloween-y. You could have at least used white denim or used orange ribbon for the lines?
a denim wreath
Wreaths are supposed to be big. This bare-bones thing looks very boring and like there were supposed to be more flowers on it but they ran out of denim. Maybe a smaller circle would have been better…?

I will say that there were some good ideas out there and actually nice denim things one could make if they had the time and skill, but a lot of the better-looking things I saw required many pairs of full jeans, and not just two legs like I had. The best options for just the legs were baby shoes, a plush whale thing, and baby bibs. I think I’ll be throwing mine out.

Anyway, I leave you now with two videos. One horrid Five Minute Craft video that is full of fake, impractical, and hideous denim ‘crafts’ and one iconic video from Jenna Marbles where she tries to make one of the more particular goofy denim crafts.

Do you agree that the above images are ugly? Have you ever upcycled your jeans?


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