I think most adults, regardless of if they’re afraid of change or not, have to evaluate how right their life feels. As a young adult currently, I’m on the precipice of the rest of my life, and my decisions, which I now have the autonomy to make, can make worlds of difference, I have to ensure I use that power for good…or good enough.
Sometimes I wonder if my life is where it’s supposed to be or if I’ve made good choices. Was I right to go into the field I did? Was I right to go to the school I did? Am I right to be friends with the people I interact with? Am I unprepared for the real world? I’d imagine that if I were in a serious relationship, I’d be questioning that too.
Is this healthy or normal?
Is there a version of me in a parallel universe who made different choices and is so much better off because of it?
I do believe that I am slightly afraid of change…but who isn’t? The unknown is scary. I don’t want to settle. I want to be happy. I want to thrive.
In grade eleven, I had a chemistry teacher who I hated, but I vividly remember her often saying in her polish accent, “You riiiight!” and all in all, I just think it’d be really cool if, every time I made a decision in my life, she’d appear and validate me with that phrase.
What I do know is that a) I haven’t made any critically bad choices that would make someone say “ooh, yikes, yeah that was a big mistake,” and b) change is inevitable, so I better just embrace it as it comes. I recently got a job offer(!) after being laid off and unemployed for a lot longer than I would have liked, and unlike for some past jobs, I really do believe that it’s right for me, my career, and all that. I finally feel like my life is getting back on track, and it’s a wonderful, exciting relief. As the pandemic continues on into 2021, having that routine and normalcy and reason to get out of bed will be good.
I know there are people of all ages who read my blog, so I’d love to know if you’re also always unsure of what’s right or if the feeling wore off (as I also suspect it’s just a side effect of being in my 20’s).
That’s all for now!