I know this post’s timing is a little weird given that last week I wrote about people who were looking for fights and ruining Christmas content for everyone else, so I’m starting this off by saying that though I dislike these songs, I’m not trying to get them off the radio and I’m not shaming anyone who likes them. There is a difference between ‘this is an inherently bad song’ and ‘this is a song I personally don’t like hearing’. Plus, this is my last post before Christmas, so now is the only relevant time to share it. I know it’s a little hypocritical, but it’s not my intention.
I’ve expressed a love for Christmas music before, and while I can happily have a Christmas radio station playing all day (I have it on all day at work), there are a few songs I don’t love. Not every song can be a hit or appeal to everyone.
‘Santa Baby‘ by Michael Buble
Even the Christmas music king can have some weak spots, and I think this song is one for Buble. Instead of flirting with Santa, he’s befriending him in a bromance way. It sounds good on paper because it is a unique twist on the classic song that I normally don’t mind, but this is just weird to listen to. It’s awkward. I mean, “Santa, pally?” It’s time to stop.
‘I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas‘ by Gayla Peevey
I’ll admit that this song is cute in a kiddy kind of way and damn it if it isn’t catchy, but it’s also annoying and too silly. Why a hippo? I don’t know or care. I heard that it’s one of my most requested Christmas songs (on the station I listen to, at least) and that just boggles my mind because there are SO MANY better songs out there. I hate getting it stuck in my head.
‘All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth‘ by various artists
Again, this is a cutesy novelty song that it’s just kind of annoying and I’d rather hear almost anything else. Are kids even that desperate for their front teeth to grow in?
‘Christmas Don’t Be Late‘ by Alvin And The Chipmunks
The Chipmunks are the ultimate form of annoying music. I am so thankful that trend of Chipmunking regular songs and uploading it to YouTube is over. If this song was sung with regular vocals, it could be decent, but instead we’re stuck with the screechy rodent voices.
‘Fairytale Of New York‘ by the Pogues
This song is somehow widely recognized as one of the best Christmas songs but I can’t fathom how because it’s not that great. The male vocals sound like the singer was tone-deaf and drunk, and it’s not really a pleasant song. I don’t mind the change in pace and the female vocals, but it’s not enough to make me enjoy it.
‘My Favourite Things‘ from the Sound Of Music
My biggest beef with this song is that it’s not really Christmassy. It mentions a few things related to the season (snowflakes, mittens, sleigh bells…) amongst many other things (bee stings, roses, doorbells…), so I don’t qualify it as a reasonable Christmas song. It’s not a bad song, I just don’t want to hear it between November 15th and December 26th. Similarly, I don’t think ‘Hallelujah’ is a Christmas song at all, Pentatonix.
‘Last Christmas‘ by Victoria Duffield
I am not a fan of this girl’s voice at all, and so I certainly do not appreciate it in my favourite Christmas song. On top of that, the dance beat is just really generic and doesn’t fit in well with the song at all. It’s trying so hard to make the classic Wham! jam a dance song but it just ruins it for me.
The good news is that these songs don’t play that often. I did some light estimates (look at me, doing math!) and I think that this year I’ll listen to over 200 hours of Christmas music (just over 8 full days) and the above seven songs take up a small percentage of that time, so I think I’ll survive.
What Christmas songs do you not love?
And since, as I said, this is the last post before Christmas, I just wanted to wish everyone a good holiday! My family’s plans aren’t anything super wild, but it’ll still be nice to get some time off work and see some relatives.