Are Proposals At A Wedding Okay?

A Buzzfeed article I read the other day reminded me of a debate topic from last summer that I meant to blog about it back then, but now’s as good a time as any.

Last summer, my boss/coworker/friend sent me a video of a really cringy Pokémon themed wedding because we enjoy laughing at cringy videos and we both like Pokémon. You can watch it here, but be warned, it’s ridiculously cringy. The next day at work, we were discussing it and we mentioned the proposal at the end, raising the ever important question that seriously forced us to stop working for a few minutes while we and our two other coworkers heavily debated:

Are proposals at a wedding ever okay?

Image result for wedding proposals

I think yes. I said that as long as the bride and groom knew in advance and were comfortable with the plans and it was a close friend or something, then it was totally okay. As long as it’s done right, that is. Not like the story from the Buzzfeed article where the groom’s best friend unexpectedly proposed during the ceremony. I’m not okay with ceremony proposals. Ever. That was just rude and dumb. But during the reception with permission is a-okay. Do I think weddings are a great place to propose or do I want to get proposed to at a wedding? No. But overall, I do not have a problem with wedding proposals.

I was alone in this. Everyone else at work disagreed and thought that proposing at someone else’s wedding, even if the bride and groom were on board, was tacky and weird and should never happen.

And while I understood this to some degree, my coworkers were all so fiercely opposed to it, so I started asking other people. My mom said she was okay with it, but a few of my friends were not. And now I ask you, would you be okay with it?

While I’d love you to explain your position on the matter in a comment, I also have a poll.


That’s all for now!

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28 thoughts on “Are Proposals At A Wedding Okay?

  1. I definitely think the bride and groom need to approve it, sometimes they are thrilled to be part of the proposal! But it’s definitely not how I’d like to be proposed to lol

  2. Nah, not into it. Why choose to propose at another wedding when you could do it ANY other time? Feels like a weird need to be the center of attention.

  3. I’d never want to put the bride and groom on the spot like that. It would be like, “hey, mind if I steal your thunder on one of the most important days of your life?”
    I wouldn’t be able to propose in front of a large group of people in any case.

  4. If the bride and the groom are enthusiastic about it then sure -sometimes it’s a close friends situation and they might actually love to be a part of it. Personally though, I think wedding proposals are personal and intimate so proposals at weddings are not my thing.

    • Yea, that’s my logic too. I have two really close friends and if they or their significant others asked to propose at my wedding, I’d be okay because they’re my best friends.

  5. +1 on the I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s just an attempt to steal the thunder of the bride and groom.

  6. I’m with bri – there’s like 364 other days in the year. Of course there are special circumstances, and if the bride and groom approve it, then fine. But a little cringy to me

    • See, as someone who doesn’t always love being at the center of attention, I think I’d be more than okay with someone taking some from me on my wedding day!

  7. If I was the bride and someone did a proposal without my consent, I would probably chop some heads off hahah!
    More seriously, this is supposed to be the day about the newlyweds – I wouldn’t spoil it by stealing their thunder so I wouldn’t like to be in that position. Plus I have been dreaming about a perfect romantic proposal for years now and it mainly involves me and my beloved being the stars of the day, so I hope it will never be done in such circumstances.
    However, as you said, if the bride and groom are okay with one of their guests pulling such a stunt during the reception, I guess it would be another celebration of love to witness and depending of the guest list it might be even fun!

    • Oh for sure, if it was done without consent, I’d go nuts. There is no excuse for that. Weddings are so meticulously planned that everything must go right!

  8. I totally agree with the people who said no way, even if the proposer asked the bride and groom’s permission. After all, the couple being married on that day has just been lots of time/money/effort/tears planning this day, and it’s to celebrate THEIR love and THEIR story, not somebody else’s. I also agree with those who said that if it was her own wedding, heads would roll!

    My own wedding was a small affair, but very nearly ruined as it was, due to some hungover guests and the decorating committee not following my directions at ALL for the centerpieces and the church decorations. We didn’t even see a drawing/plan of the cake ahead of time, and when you’ve put in a deposit for all this stuff, it really makes a difference in the satisfaction of the final product to have AS MUCH input as the person designing the cake or the whatever.

    Quite honestly, I think anyone who would have so much lack of class as to propose at someone else’s wedding deserves to be dumped until they learn some compassion.

    • Well you’re not having any of it, are ya? Haha. Obviously no one wants a wedding to be ruined, so if the bride/groom thinks a proposal will ruin theirs, it’s totally understandable that they’d never allow one to happen.

  9. The image received of the proposal conjured an unusual turn-out. I’ll go no further. No fault of the writer, my weird reading. Weddings are a time and place of (intimate) communal gathering and celebration, so in many human families it might make for an extra wonderful time. Risky thing to do unless confident of acceptance! Weddings are a problem when they’re all about being ‘queen for a day’ and everything being ‘perfect’ – all for show.

    • I get that the bride is the star on her wedding day, but I get annoyed when they make it about her being a queen rather than it being a celebration of their union and love. Proposals are a celebration of love too, and as much as a lot of people see weddings as no place for one, at least they’re usually not as twisted.

  10. There are lots of moments where a marriage proposal can be made in my opinion, whether the bride and groom agree or not, I think proposing at a wedding steals the married couple’s thunder. It might work if the proposal is made closer to the end of the day because that way most of the spotlight would have been on the married couple.

  11. I think a proposal should be done at a place that is special to the couple in particular. Someone else’s wedding isn’t really special or memorable for any other couple except the one that is getting married. There are plenty of other times to do it. Just let that couple be in the limelight for their special day.

    • Yeah, that is a good point: someone else’s wedding will never be as special to anyone but the bride/groom, so unless you met in that particular venue or something, that place is not as meaningful.

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