The list of fictional characters I love is far too long. I, in some weird sense, feel like a mother to many of them because I want nothing more than to protect them and love them and see them happy.
That’s why it’s really hard for me to watch some of them consistently making bad decisions. When real people in my life make bad choices, I can talk to them and discuss with them and help them, but I can’t do that with fictional characters on account of them being fictional and me being not crazy. I’m sure you all know those feelings though, doesn’t matter from shows, movies, or books: disappointed and worried and weary. Fictional characters are supposed to be fun!
So in an attempt to cope, I’ve created a 5 step guide to dealing with fictional characters who make bad decisions, and now I’m sharing it with you because if you’re watching the same shows I am, you’ll understand.
Step 1 – Yell at the TV but in a sassy way. Sure, no one but your mildly concerned roommates can hear you, but if you’re going to shout at the TV anyway, doing it with some humor makes the situation a bit more enjoyable. “Oh my God, Bartholomew Allen, I swear, if you’re even thinking about messing up the timeline again, I will come down there and trip you while you are running.”
Step 2 – Tweet. In caps. This way, you’re quiet physically but your shout into the void can at least be immortalized on the internet and be seen by fellow frustrated people. You’re all in this together, and that is comforting.
READE she’s offering to help and you know she’s a good person WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS??? #Blindspot
— V Donovan (@coolbeans_4) February 23, 2017
Step 3 – Go back and watch episodes where they were all making good choices. Try to cancel out the new stress by watching good old episodes. Ones where everyone was doing as they should and it’s all calm and sane. If it’s a show that’s been on for a few years, I suggest going back to season one because that’s when everyone was younger and simpler and the show’s writing is probably stronger. If you think season 1 Rachel Berry would have made the same choices that season 5 Rachel Berry did, then you and I need to speak.
Step 4- Re-evaluate things. Spend portions of you day wondering where you, as metaphorical parent, went wrong. Stare at a blank wall or a blank TV as you do this. Perhaps fold your hands over your face. Sigh deeply, in and out. Imagine what life would be like if the characters didn’t make bad choices.
Step 5 – Repeat. Yeah. You really can’t deal with it. Psyyyyych (or is it sike?). This list is a lie. We’re forever stuck and nothing will change that. You can’t un-see and unless you’re willing to stop watching, you’re in for a ride. Make peace with this sooner rather than later so you can prepare yourself.
That’s all for now!