Well, to be more specific, several ruts. I am very rutted.
I am in a social rut. As always, there have been changes in my social circles, and it just gets me down because these changes never include getting more friends. Or, more close friends. Sitting next to a friend for two hours in class doesn’t really count as hanging out.
I am in an educational rut. Two of them, actually. First of all, it’s approaching that time of the semester where I have SO MUCH work to do. I know I’ll get through it eventually but I just don’t want to do it. Being stressed all the time and feeling guilty for watching TV sucks. And the other rut has to do with the fact that I’m really getting worried about how prepared I am for the world. I chose to attend university, but I constantly wonder if college would have been better. I’m brutally unprepared. Employers don’t care if I know what panopticon is or how it works. They want to know if I know how to use Photoshop. The good news is everyone I’ve talked to at school feels the same, so I guess we can all suffer together.
I am in a blogging rut. I love my blog and I love how it looks. But sometimes I struggle with topics. My daily stats are down, and I don’t know how to get them up. It just takes time and luck, I guess. I’ve also considered buying a domain. It seems like a natural course of events. Wordpress has the really basic plan for like $3 a month, and I can totally afford that, but do I need it? No. Will my blog be better? Maybe. I could even afford the advanced plan, but I don’t need it. I don’t know code and it’s too much of a hassle to deal with transfers and redirecting and whatnot. And then there’s self-hosting. That’s another whole thing I don’t think I want to deal with.
I am in a creative rut. Some days I just want to make. I want to create. I get urges to try my hand at really weird things like write a musical, or write a novel, or become a vlogger. I can’t really do any, so I know it’s unrealistic and who has time for that? The thing is, I get these urges to be creative, but no ideas. I get urges to blog but no post ideas.
I am in a networking rut. I’ve been trying to participate in Twitter chats. They’re fun, but I feel really out of place. A lot of bloggers I interact with there are either British beauty bloggers (all they write about is makeup or fashion, two things I do not have an interest in at all) or book bloggers (I don’t read that much and when I do, it’s almost always fantasy). And on Facebook, all the bloggers are my mom’s age and run blogs for business. Where are the young bloggers who write about TV and memes? Am I already following them all? Because I’m a bit of an outsider and introverted, I struggle to gain followers on social media.
Anyways, I’ve realized how whiney this post sounds. Here I am, a middle class white girl, complaining about her problems. Woe is me, right? So to combat this and prove to you guys and myself that I’m not completely helpless, here are a few things I am going to do to deal with my ruts.
- I am going to invite friends to hang out. I can’t be mad at them for not inviting me to hang if I don’t do the same. Especially newer friends, where ice needs to still be broken.
- I am going to keep blogging and keep sharing my words because this is what I love to do. If I need inspiration, I will browse the internet and read other blogs and find some. Worst comes to worst, I can always talk about TV!
- I am going to continue to participate in Twitter chats and Facebook blog threads. I will do my best to interact. I will also keep livetweeting and hopefully at least find some new people on Twitter who have the same interests; it doesn’t matter if they’re bloggers too.
- I am going to stay positive. Me being all sad and thinking about the negative things is not helping and not the way to deal with things.
- I am going to do my best to learn things outside of school. Keep reading and learning and trying. Blogging was all self-taught, after all.
If you’re in ruts like me, I encourage you to tackle problems headfirst like I am trying to. The sense of power and control is nice, even for a little bit!
I do like being able to vent a little on my blog. I do my best to keep things casual and chill, but once in a while, I just need to shout frustrations into the void. My void. Behind the screen I am a real person and posts like this act as a reminder to myself and to readers that I am allowed to have real issues and share them too.
That’s all for now!