I’m An Athlete!….Well, I Play Quidditch

Yes, that is the sport from Harry Potter.

Yes, I am a huge nerd.

harry potter animated GIF

I’ve played all the sports. In my nineteen years of existence on this earth I’ve played hockey, soccer, basketball, tennis, badminton, curling, ballet, swimming, and baseball. Most were for about a year, but I did hockey, soccer and curling for several years, only quitting when I didn’t have an interest in them anymore.

I don’t have a huge interest in sports, really. I mean, I’m not athletic and never really excelled in anything. After I quit soccer in grade 9, I didn’t really run much at all (to the point where I now get winded running up a flight of stairs…it’s pathetic, I know). I can’t stand watching sports on TV (with the occasional exception of curling, and synchronized diving because that looks cool) and when my family discusses sports around the dinner table, I tune out.

So it’s funny that I’m here, happily playing such a weird, intense sport like Quidditch. My school has a team and I hesitantly signed up, intending to see how it goes. So far so good. I look forward to practices and I like the team members and I have fun!

But yes, it is an intense sport. I’m getting exercise, as the game involves constant running (with a broom between your legs no less, so that took adjusting to). Not only that, but it’s a contact sport, so I have a mouth guard (which I haven’t had to need since hockey eight years ago) and we’ve been learning to tackle and get tackled. That part is admittedly, not my favourite as I am not a physically aggressive person, but I figure that I’ll use my skills of invisibility to avoid most contact. My skills of invisibility include not talking or moving much and generally staying away from the action. This leads to no one noticing you or doing anything to you. This is handy for my position as chaser, where I am one of three people trying to get the quaffle into the hoops. I can run up pretty unnoticed and then get passed the ball to score. I’m also assuming that since it’s a Harry Potter sport, the majority of players will be averaged sized people like me, not hulking football players, so it won’t be as intimidating.

Now, I can imagine that if you’re reading this and have no Harry Potter knowledge you’d be very confused, and even as a fan, you still may not know how the game works without flying, so here’s an overview:

There are four positions: seeker, chaser, beater and keeper. Seekers (one per team) have one job, and that’s to catch the snitch (which is a dude who runs around and you have to grab a small ball from him). Chasers (two others and me!) have to take a ball called the quaffle and go score on one of the other team’s three hoops (they’re vertical hoops, unlike horizontal basketball ones). There’s one quaffle so the other team is trying to do the same. At the same time, chasers are trying to avoid being hit with a ball called the bludger. If they are hit, they have to get off their broom and run back and touch their own hoop post before coming back into the game. Beaters (three per team) are the ones throwing the bludgers. They’re the defence system for the team, and they try to strategically get the other team’s chasers out so their team can score. Keepers (one per team) are essentially the goalies. They hang back and defend the hoops mostly, but they can handle the quaffle too, so sometimes they leave their zone to help out the chasers.

I got this from Google Images, but the guy in red is a chaser and he’s holding the quaffle and is about to be hit by the beaters in yellow, holding bludgers.

It’s a fun game that never has dull moments. Constant action from everyone always. Yay! It’s tiring, but it’s the only exercise I get ever, so I know it’s good for me.

If you’re in school still, see if your school has a Quidditch team that you can join because I highly recommend it. A bonus is that everyone who plays it is usually a Harry Potter fan so you’re probably going to be on a team with super fun nerds like yourself. Also, bonus pro-Quidditch point: if you’re ever insecure about having chubbier legs/thighs, then Quidditch is the sport to correct that, as holding a broom between your legs is not easy if you’re thin, but having a little extra grip up there is great.

Anyways, how do I convince my team to do this dance with me?

(I cut the video off after the Quidditch scene but if you haven’t seen AVPM/S/SY then go watch them!)

That’s all for now!

P.S. I just realized that there are two sports in this world that involve the use of a broom and in the past three years, I’ve exclusively played them both.

21 thoughts on “I’m An Athlete!….Well, I Play Quidditch

    • I thought it’d be awful at it too (and I kinda was at first) but eventually you get the hang of running with the broom and throwing/catching with one hand, and it ends up being more natural and fun!

  1. It sounds like a fun game but also strategic which is key to making the game worth playing. How does a spectator know which player is playing which position? Is it obvious after watching for a bit or are their shirts a different colour, for example, like in the photo. Also, what does one wear on the field? Do you need elbow pads and knee pads with that mouth guard? Do people come to watch your games? Lastly, I think you should get everyone curling in the off-season, 😊 just to keep up the broom dexterity!! 👍

    • We haven’t had an official game yet, but I think all the players have headbands of certain colours so the different positions are clear.
      No pads required but they’re not forbidden.

  2. oh wow this is so great – you completely nailed it – i’m more of a board game nerd than a Harry Potter nerd but when my wife and i lived in Oakland we saw a team playing Quidditch at Stanford maybe or one of the schools there – looks like a lot of silly fun.

    Well written
    love brett fish

    • I’m definitely more of a board game nerd too, aside from Quidditch. The idea of exercise and being voluntarily tired does not appeal to me at all. I only put up with it in Quidditch because the game itself is fun.
      Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  3. Hahaha, I love this! I didn’t realize that muggle Quidditch was a contact sport that requires mouth guards. It’s a couple months after you wrote this–do you still like Quidditch? Are you still an invisible Chaser?

    • Yeah it’s still really fun and I’ve found that I’m actually a pretty good chaser! We had a little scrimmage a while ago and our team got crushed but I was the only one to score for us, and that was pretty cool! I’m still not the most aggressive player and running isn’t my favourite but I still have a lot of fun!

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  5. Wow, I had no idea Quidditch was made an actual sport! It sounds really fun (Though I try to avoid any sport that involves tackling or being attacked by balls.) I’m happy you enjoy it. So long as you’re getting exercise somehow, that’s what’s really important.

    • While there is tackling and ball attacking, it’s not too bad. If I can do it, anyone can do it. It’s winter now so I’ve had to force myself to go in the name of exercise.

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