How To Adult In 25 Steps

Yes, adult is a verb here. The act of adulting, or being an adult.

I’m legally an adult in every way. But being an adult on paper and feeling like one are two different things. In the past few months, I’ve been thrust into a new world of what it seems is known as adulthood and it’s weird. And though it hasn’t been that long and I do still think I am slightly sometimes a child at heart, I have compiled a list on How To Adult.

  1. Kill the bugs by yourself with little or no tears (no tears is ideal).
  2. Cook food using more than the microwave.
  3. Clean all the dishes with actual dish soap and dry them all too.
  4. Go grocery shopping. Often.
  5. Learn a public bus schedule and be comfortable taking the bus.
  6. Plan social events several days in advance.
  7. Plan meals in advance.
  8. Pay rent (that means you, Mark and Roger).
  9. Pay bills.
  10. Set an alarm clock.
  11. Read the instruction booklets for things.
  12. Book your own doctors/dentists appointments.
  13. Use “it’s healthy” as an excuse to drink red wine.
     
  14. Legally buy alcohol without looking guilty.
  15. Own at least two reusable shopping bags.
  16. Use a check book.
  17. Know who you’re going to vote for so you can answer if someone asks and therefore pretend you’re up to date with politics.
  18. Complain about the economy.
  19. Go to or host a dinner party.
  20. Ask for recipes.
  21. See teenagers in movies and consider them really young.
  22. Talk about the weather in social situations.
  23. Use only the following colours as nail polish: clear, red, white, soft pink, and beige.
  24. Say things like “my parents’ house” to prove that you’re independent.
  25. Make people under the age of 14 call you Mr/Mrs/Ms and tell them to respect their elders.

 

Follow those steps and you’ll be successfully adulting in no time!

Also, if you have your own tips on how to adult, leave them in a comment. The goal here to help anyone and everyone adult to the best of their abilities. It’s a team effort, really.

That’s all for now!

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24 thoughts on “How To Adult In 25 Steps

  1. Rule #1 of Adulting: DON’T PANIC. (Hitchhiker’s reference)

    Rule #2: Go back to #1.

    Rule #3: When this fails, go ahead and freak out and repent of it later.

    Rule #4: Go back again to the prime directive (or, rule 1).

    Rule #5: Find a picture of a cute dog that states “I can’t adult today. Don’t make me adult,” and post it on your blog (as I did once).

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